SOME HIGH POINTS IN ‘’A COOL GUY—Youths, Addictions,
Change, Job, The Missing Link’’
In all of the discuss, resounding
questions for all to answer and prove by action are, “Who am I?” How and why am
I here? What is my focus in life? What
is the missing link between my dream-where I want to be-and actually getting
there? Why am I unemployed or a drug addict? What or where is my destination
and how do I get there? And broken down further, one might reasonably ask,
’’What likely impediments are there to hinder my progress towards my goal and
this existential destination?’’As a youth or young adult, am I making the best
use of whatever circumstances I find around me to live my life to the full? Am
I receiving and giving love, being a blessing to my family and entire circle of
influence and trying to be classy and principled even against all odds? Am I in
control of my emotions? In a nutshell, Am
I cool as a guy/maiden or a razz?
It is a big pity that many
people, even in their adult and older stages of life do not take time to ask
these questions? A pity indeed, because it is tragic to be made for a purpose
but to just pass through life like a nobody, with no agenda, no purpose and no
sense of fulfillment to aspire towards. In fact, that is the greatest tragedy
that can befall any human being. Wars are tragic alright, poverty and ignorance
demean the human species because he is, in those conditions, not able to
express fully his abilities and dreams, and other tragedies abound but nothing
compares with a man that does not know who he is. And that is why many are
unconsciously chasing the wind, defrauding others and slowly ‘killing’
themselves to get rich, to be powerful, to be applauded, to be affirmed even if
it earns them some hatred in the process. They may make big money, be famous,
but they know that there is something about their lives that is not quite right
and they are trying to fix it, albeit in the wrong way. Little do they know
that the direction to focus on is inward; they need introspection to realize
themselves fully.
And so, I have set out in this
book to help youths find their bearing. To
set a road map towards where they should be headed and where any has
missed the way, to turn around and face the right direction. We all need guidance in life which ought to
have started from home- our little foundational world- but never ends there. We
all need it if the law of justice must demand that you cannot blame a blind man
if he cannot find the door. He has to be led there and then be left with the
decision to step out or be stuck at the edge of the door.
This also is the aim of this
book: to point to the youths, how they can turn frustrating economic situation
to good use; to show them the stuff that is inherent in them; the way some of
their socio-physiological body parts function and the possible harm that can
hamper their efficiency such as drugs and alcoholic intoxication, dishonor to
parents, faulty approach to relationships and wrong perceptions about life and
living. And the way they may go if they want to deliver optimally and have the ability to correctly answer that imperative life question; ‘Who am
I’’
It will also be good to read this book
alongside my other books on personality development namely,’
Nurture Brain and Character-Learn and Recall Faster; Sexuality STI and
Abstinence; My Sweetheart My Bride- Spirituality and Sexuality; as well as
Stress Management and Personality Development – a holistic Approach. Each
of these books discusses different aspects of human development in some detail
as the titles suggest but there are areas of intersection that one must take
cognizance of. Sexual abuse for instance, may have some bearings with childhood
trauma or experiences or have a direct link with drug and substances abuse and
so you cannot adequately handle one without the other. So is poor reasoning and
analytical ability plus marital failure and a history of binge drinking and
drug substances abuse and addiction.
Prime Times While learning takes place throughout life,
there are prime times when certain portions of the brain are more adept at
absorbing new information---a sort of "growth spurt" for different
brain functions. They are mostly during
infancy and adolescence.
The prefrontal
cortex, which controls planning, impulse control, risk assessment, consequence
prediction, and organization, develops in adolescence, the very stage in life
when many youths think it trendy to experiment with intoxicating drug substances,
alcohol and illicit sex.
Pre-disposition
Socio cultural factors like living among drug users,
living in a slum or similar high stress prone areas; peer pressure heightened
by low self esteem, the need to belong or weak family bond; outright rebellion
against the norm sometimes as a cry out against
perceived injustice or suffering; and in a few cases, neurological
deficiency in the reward system of the brain where the victim have an
undercurrent to feel elated but cannot, are some of the reasons why people get
hooked on harmful addictive substances.
As is evident in the table in the book, THC
in marijuana causes panic attacks, impairs memory and coordination, slows your
reaction time to important thoughts, impairs analytical thoughts and judgment,
and then increases appetite both to food and sexual activity. Most of these
symptoms are also typical of degenerative diseases like Alzheimer’s and
Parkinson’s that are most experienced in old age and whose causes and cures are
still not completely understood. Talk about creating old age misery at the
prime of life.
Computers today generate both low frequency
electromagnetic radiation and radio frequency radiation both of which have been
classified as potential carcinogens by WHO. It has been demonstrated very
easily that a raw egg kept in the same pocket with an iphone got cooked in only
a few minutes! Have we then be unconsciously cooking parts of our body that is
always close to our phone? It is fearful to know we are all probably breeding
Alzheimer genes in the vast majority of this generation.
By
and large, all these toxic substances are subtle silent killers whose effect
accumulate over time before dealing their final blow. And some effects have
been immediate: an elderly widow in my neighbourhood has lost her only child to
a sudden excessive bleeding that many attribute to a severe unusual reaction to
one of this smoke substances. Even if the sudden tragic event is not common,
most abusers do not know that the adolescent
stage of life(16—25yrs) when they begin to indulge in these escapades is the
same time that the pre-fontal cortex(CEO) of their brain is being formed. Their managerial capability of even the
middle age can be compromised by the lifestyle of their adolescent age.
We
have to begin to save our generation and our future and the knowledge about
what to do is key to doing that.
I can almost hear a deafening retort that
there is no job in the country and
getting a loan from anywhere to start
any business is herculean task in this country. And I will say you are partly right and mostly
wrong. Right that there are
scarce government jobs to absorb the teeming
youth population and that
getting a loan from the banks is a hard
nut to crack even with the best of project plans. But wrong in the sense that
there are jobs to be created by you both in a voluntary capacity to fulfill
your passion and to make a living.
Scarce as paid job opportunities may be,
companies and organizations are looking
for ideas, men and women who will help them ride over their difficult times. They may be retrenching but at the same, are
on the lookout for those who will help them boost their capacity and boom again.
You can be that person. And you can only be that person, if you have been
reading, thinking, researching in your areas of interest and experimenting with
whatever is within your reach that is in tune with your area of interest. The
course you studied in school has undoubtedly opened your eyes and expanded your
scope of thinking but you are not condemned to stick with that skill for a
living. Every averagely intelligent person can multi-task, he can do something
else or even combine two or more little businesses and with time , decide on
which to concentrate on.
The
most important factors are (1) concrete decision to stop moaning and blaming
everyone else to focus on your inner resources,(2) the ability to tame your ego
and be humble enough to be ready for any kind of job which you can perform with
dignity, (3) the insight to check out for vacuums that exist in almost the
entire spectrum of existing human endeavours,(4) the strength of character to
pull off from your peers who are not a plus for your decision to be
constructive and later build friends of like minds, (5) the willingness to
start small where you are, learn, make all the mistakes and even fail but fail
forward and then be Emotionally Intelligent enough to persist in the face of
frustrations. Examples abound on self
help projects and some are:…
Where is your heart leading you in terms of
job creation? What do you have to bring to the table? What is the missing link
between your dream, talent or passion and actualization of that dream? How do
you intend to navigate the challenges, the stumbling blocks on your way? Think
and act for the future belongs to you!
And like I said in my book, Nurture Brain And Character
(https://www.amazon.com/May-Ohaedoghasi/e/BOODQ6BYCS: Education or skill or
even wealth without character is like good food served in a dirty refuse bin.
So let’s also talk about character and Emotional Intelligence.
I really don’t see how anyone can
truly master self and strengthen his character if he doesn’t beef up his
Emotional quotient enough to be able to read and interpret his emotions, manage
them and use them positively to succeed in all ventures- personal or social.
People hurt and are stressed due to low Emotional Intelligence(EI), marriages
fail because of low EI, exams are failed because of low EI, leaders fail due to
low EI and spiritual growth is stunted because of low EI. This low EI is
immediately evidenced in one’s character which in turn, is influenced by
principles and values, and the ability to stand by them.
A
COOL GUY KNOWS HIMSELF, ACKNOWLEDGES WHATEVER PROBLEMS AND DECIDEDLY IMMERSES
HIMSELF IN PROFFERING SOLUTIONS SO THAT HE CAN OWN HIS DESTINY. NO GOVERNMENT
OR ECONOMIC CLIMATE WILL DEPRIVE HIM OF THAT
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