Books

Stress Management And Personality Development: A Holistic Approach

As the title suggests, this book is about stress and stressor which has bedeviled the contemporary world, its symptoms which subjects its victims to compromised efficiency at work and about learning how best to cope with the triggers.

It also goes beyond the physical level to the psychological and spiritual states of men to highlight their interconnectivity; expounding the defense mechanisms under which most of us “hide” and relating the effect on health status and general wellbeing. It offers tips for reaching down to our primal pain to confront our problems and get them solved for holistic living.

Skills for leadership and optimal job performance such as effective communication skills, anger management and change management are but only some of the issues treated therein. And the use of Scriptures and general Christian principles are discussed as sure antidote to the deleterious effects of unmanaged stress.

Teachers need to acquaint themselves with the topics in this book, not only to be able to manage stress and work optimally, but also to be able to teach children how to communicate effectively, handle anger creatively and be able to name their pain when faced with any traumatic experience in life.

My Sweetheart My Bride - Sexuality and Spirituality

This is a book on chastity and spirituality. This book is apt at this stage of our life because it expounds the issue of sexuality abuse and misuse, especially with regards to homosexuality, masturbation and fornication. It is pathetic that the sympathy for homosexual practice is gaining momentum to the stage of its being a topic of discussion in even our national assembly and in some churches. Parents and teachers are clearly at a loss on how to shield their children from the ‘empting volcano’. This book brings to fore the scientific debates on homosexuality, masochism, sadism and other sexuality abuses and clearly argues that there is no proven scientific base for accommodating homosexuality or other body misuses. Again, it highlights some signs or lifestyles that youths should beware of in their peers so as not to fall victim to negative peer pressures. It then goes ahead to discuss chastity in different states of life: its beauty, benefits, banana peels, motivational tools and tips for sustainance. The book has the Church’s imprimatur.

Sexuality, STIs and Abstinence

This should be a companion/complement of “My Sweetheart, My Bride” as it tackles the same broad issue of sexuality from different angles. This book expounds the beauty of manhood and womanhood and why the human person should be treated as sacred. One who imbibes this knowledge early enough in life is not likely to be a ready tool for killing other human beings or fallen victim to confusion about sexual orientation.

The book also lists the dangers of pre-marital sex including contacting various sexually transmitted infections – some of which do not have symptoms just like HIV/AIDS and human Papillomavirus. It again gives hints on how to avoid being raped, drugged say in a party and so on. The exposure of even our very young children demands that these issues be discussed early enough, albeit in a simplified manner, on a sustainable basis.

Midlife Passage with Ease

This is a book on preparing for and managing middle-age challenges such as forgetfulness, joint pains, menopausal discomforts for women and andropausal ones for men, prostrate problems, libido problems and so on.

Its main strength is in helping people understanding what is going on in their body thereby stripping those symptoms of their sting and recommend ways to manage them or complement what their care givers recommend.

Nurture Brain and Character - Learn and Recall Faster

This is a 3-in-1 book that treats:

1. Brain development and nurturance delving into how they impart on learning and character formation;
2. Study skills and learning in tandem with memory’s natural rhythms. It shows clearly why some people with about the same IQ study and one excels while the others do not. Coping with slow learners is also treated in this segment.
3. Character formation and Social Emotional Learning, otherwise known as Emotional Intelligence, forms the thrust of the third part of the book. EI or EQ is the new rave in education in most civilized parts of the world because it has dawned on many that being able to manage one’s emotion or navigate through our various emotional states is the critical factor in determining individual maturity, leadership skill, social or organization climate, unitive lifestyle, impulse control and empathy.

If we have lost our moral and educational values, it is because our young ones are lacking in Emotional literacy and our old have abandoned what they learnt.

You can find it here on Amazon.

Coping With Widow and Living in Divine Love

This book, as the title clearly states, discusses the loss of one’s spouse to death or abandonment, the gamut of emotional, psychological and social effects it has on the bereaved, the ways to name and confront the pains and the practical steps of recovering from the emotional trauma and embracing the new  life status. On picking up courage to adjust and forge ahead in life, the widow is tipped on how to step into the shoes of both parents and make the children equally cope better with the loss and become partners in the business of life adjustment and bonding more intimately to face life challenges. The woman soon finds out that she needs to strengthen her character to be in charge of the home, and needs God’s help (by feeding on and living His words) to succeed on all fronts of the family.

This serious business of filling the vacuum in her life with divine intimacy gave rise to the second part of the book which attempts to expound what divine love really means and how to tap into it. The priviledges which abound for the alone mother and her fatherless children are certainly marched with responsibilities which the beneficiaries must try to live up to if the friendship must endure. Living a life of renewed virginity or chastity is a cardinal recommendation and letting the Lord fill the void in her life is one sure way to bond intimately the One who has assured that He is the protector and defender of the widows.

Then the social issues of human rights and traditional issues are tackled in a way that the widow is empowered to stand on her feet and make sure she is not short changed because of the absence of the male figure in her life.

In all of these, it is not in question that this life status as widowhood, demands some level of communality and sharing to reduce the pangs of loneliness and self pity, particularly if the children in the family are still young and cannot yet help their mother in issues of finance, occasional emotional pains and social protection. For these reasons, the book provides a blue print that any interested reader can use to set up a support group that provides a conducive forum where members can unburden themselves and share their confidences in a spirit of trust and openness. This is the thrust of the third part of the book.

By and large, the book is a product of twenty years experience garnered by the author in coordinating widows from different ethnic groups and social strata with their different cultures and traditions but majorly bound together by their common faith as  Christians.

A Cool Guy - Youth, Drug Addiction, Change and Excellence

A cool guy is a mirror to other youths who has used all the resources that were and are available to him to be the best that he is capable of being. He has survived the turbulent teen age with the pressures from his peers, environment, hormonal influences and home and has snowballed into a young adult that is using his exploratory adventurous zeal to create, to mature and to mentor others. He is not necessary a Saint or perfect mummy’s boy, but he has schooled himself in impulse control, positive virtues and hard work. Where he faulted by joining a bad gang that indulges in sexual escapades, drunkenness or drug abuse, he has realized the harm he is doing to himself, to others and to the society he should be serving , and taken concrete steps to stop and face life with a positive and creative attitude and lifestyle.

Now, the book highlights the challenges youths go through in all climes, particularly, in developing countries like Nigeria and tries to dissect why and how youths fall to those societal challenges. It then delves exhaustively into the different substances such cocaine, heroin, alcohol and so on that are abused, their deleterious effects on the body and overall mental efficiency and gives tips on how to cure the addictions and combating perpetuation.

Then the issues of character formation, self scripting or re-scripting with emphasis on schooling ones’ emotions for self mastery, relationship management and leadership skills are dealt with. It goes on to discuss the business of creating jobs and self dependency and noting the missing link why many people do not make it in job creation thereby remaining poor, while others climb from one growing to another.

It is a book that should interest youths, young adults, parents, churches, seminaries and institutions that deal with youth related issues.

Marriage a Crown and a Rose

Marriage is good and beautiful bur a lot of marriages are hurting these days or are on the verge of being destroyed. Why? 

Expressions of regret and discontent in marriage are so very common these days particularly in the last three decades that one is afraid that the institution of marriage may crumble on us. It is fast being regarded as a casual affair as in with acquaintances and some associations or an abode housing co-tenants with common responsibilities.

Couples bind themselves together without getting to know the full significance of what they are getting into and as soon as the trials come, they want to jump out.

This is so because some core traditional institutions like the church have also become victims of radical re-interpretations of basic human issues and institutions like sexuality and sexual orientation and marriage. Old paradigms are being questioned, and the young and vibrant generations of youths  have become highly experimental with sex and sexuality. To this debate therefore, the overriding question is: who sets the standard for the world to follow? Borrowing the words of Prof. Hope Eghagha, how far can we go in appropriating 21st century dynamics to the demands of the Christian faith as enunciated in the Bible?

Why were marriages preserved in the yesteryears than now even when the couples hardly agreed on anything or were stricken with severe poverty? Should themen be blamed for their chauvinistic ways of life that demeaned women in most cases or is the blame hinged on women who have increased in knowledge and self confidence and can now easily pull out of a depressing situation? Or yet, is the breakages as  a result of the various pull of the woman from different direction such they are not able to live out the use of wisdom as stated in Proverbs14:1 thus; Homes are built by the wisdom of the woman and torn down by foolishness? And if this is the case, why is the man mandated by the Almighty to be the head of the household or is headship no longer saddled with keeping the boat afloat?

All these questions and many more are the discuss this book attempts to look into,  and with the insight of the author who has been a marriage counselor for many years and who herself has been married for 34 years and still counting.

Like a lost child, we must go back to our Creator who instituted marriage, if we must navigate the challenges of marriage and life in general and get it right. If we must savor our roses, we have to be ready and learn how to manage the thorns.